Is Media failing Our Children?

I recently visited my sister in the neighborhood one Tuesday evening, having a tete-a-tete sitting on the sofas and soon enough the 7.00pm news broadcast flashes in our screens from a leading local stations. One of the news items, is on a man who literally ‘got stuck’ after engaging in an ‘illicit act’ with a married woman. It is mentioned that the woman’s husband visited a witchdoctor after suspecting he had been harboring a cheating wife. We are almost getting used to these kind of news stories so really this didn’t turn my head.

However, a conversation ensued after my sister questioned the timing of this kind of news item citing obscenity and inappropriateness since most families watch the 7.00pm news together with their young ones. Strongly opinionated, my sister believes that, this type of news story should be rated PG18 and only aired during the watershed period; as cited in the Kenya Information and Communications (Broadcasting) Regulations 2008 that states that: “…adult content should not be broadcast between 5.00am and 10.00pm in order to protect children from the harm and offence that these programs may cause…”.  

I want to agree on this but then again I reason out with her that; during my university days as a News Reporter attache’, human interest stories were always given more airtime both in the broadcast and print media hence the justification of the timing of the said news item. Besides it is argued that nudity sells, doesn’t it? And again no one watches news after 10.00pm anyways, I don’t, do you?

Needless to say, we cannot ignore the fact that media plays a huge role in shaping our societies and gate-keeping is no exception. It is obvious that most times, majority of us consume what the media feeds us without vetting the content. We tend to believe that the information shared by the media is always correct, accurate and good for consumption to all and sundry (well, usually it is but not always). Unfortunately, our youth and more so our school going children have no wisdom to filter the rice from the chaff. They follow celebrities, want to imitate them, make them their demi-gods and some even idolize them.

My attention instantly shifts towards a very interesting court verdict made by The High Court of Kenya in relations to a 17-year old boy who had been remanded in an adult jail for a year. His crime? He was accused of defiling his teenage girlfriend and after the girl’s parents realized their daughter was pregnant, decided to press defilement charges against the boy. In the ruling, it was mentioned that the girl and the by had engaged in a consensual sex and that both should have been charged with defiling each other and that the 17-year boy had been discriminated against and his rights as a child abused. The judge ordered the boy to be paid Sh 200, 000 in damages.

What’s my point in this you may ask? The media glorification of sexual related content alongside unlimited exposure and availability of untamed Internet coverage coupled with ease of access to smart phones has made our teenage children susceptible to sexual activities and thus made them sexual offenders at a very tender age. It is very sad to note that we even now refer to our teenage kids as young adults instead of children. The risks in all these? Increased number of early pregnancies and school drop outs, high risk of contracting Sexually Transmitted Diseases, HIV/AIDS notwithstanding, increased number of single parents, street children, forced early marriages just to mention a few.

According to the latest statistics from the Communications Authority of Kenya(CAK), mobile penetration in Kenya has risen to 95.1% and that Kenya tops in phone internet traffic globally according to Business Daily article published on 20 March 2018. With this information at the back of our mind, it will be very ignorant, uncouth, alarming for any of us to overlook the potential harm that the media; print, broadcast & social media can do our teenage children who are increasingly becoming sexually active if measures are not put in place.

It is therefore the responsibility of the government, religious institutions, teaching institutions, family units, the media, Non-Governmental Organizations(NGO’s), responsible men and women of this great nation to come forth and save our next generation from the looming disaster of socially eroded moralities. Media should refrain from broadcasting very suggestive content that may lure our kids and have them engage in activities that takes away their innocence or at least media should respect the PG content ratings. At the same time, the government working hand in hand with teaching institutions should have laws governing and protecting children and introduce subjects in schools that help to inculcate good morals in our children. Meanwhile, family units alongside religious institutions should work in tandem to instill upright and godly ways of living of our children in the society. Everybody has a role to play as a moral cop in bringing up a morally upright, god-fearing generation that is decent, modest and guided with principles of good behaviors accepted by the basic minimum societal morals.

By,

Lisa Biwott

Freelance writer & a Blogger

Goodbyes Are Indeed Forever: RIP Eric Otieno Ombambo

The angels came and took you, that really wasn’t fair, you should have had so many years, to watch your life unfold, but in the midst of all these, as you rest and wait, watching from up above, pray for me too, pray for us all, that we shall meet one day in the beautiful shore and we will never have to say goodbyes again.

Today marks five months and one week since you departed from this world, till we meet again my friend, sleep with the angels.

I know this will sound like a cliché but I gotta say this to you I miss you a lot, the void you left in me, your mum, your siblings, your friends, your colleagues, your former colleagues it has not been filled, it will never be filled.

On 1^st April 2017, so I heard that that you were gone, that the unimaginable happen, that you were no more, how astonishing! That the previous day you left your house in the morning, headed to work, went for lunch, a few meetings at your work place, the Friday came and you said to your colleagues "...see you on Monday...", your friends in town waiting for you and you decided to go for a meet and greet late into the night, and when the morning came so it is told, that you fell from a four storied building and you succumbed on your way to the hospital? And the last person you were with claimed that you were suicidal? How so? Is it true Eric, if yes but why?

From the eulogy it read, “He was the last born in the family, a practicing catholic who also served as an altar boy.., brother to 18 siblings, an uncle to many and a fiancé too! How convenient to write this…to think that the same person you were with last, happened to be your fiancé, and she also happened to be the same person that stated you were suicidal. 

You see, when I left my former employers to join Horizon, I never knew our fate would be sealed from there henceforth. Having you as a colleague back in Samsung was the best thing that could have happened to me. I got the opportunity to know you up-close and personal. I remember our first conversation, the icebreaker. It was so obvious that we never used to talk much because of your calm and reserved nature, because you used to keep to yourself a lot. 

I must confess that, in the one and a half years that we worked together, lived in the same neighborhood, watched soccer together a number of times, the many shifts that we had, yes I did note from time to time you would mumble about general life troubles and problems. This did not sound any alarming because they appeared to be normal complains we all make about life struggles, and as a young man in your mid-twenties trying to establish yourself it was almost normal. But even in the center of all these, never by your actions, verbals or non-verbals was there a sign of you being suicidal. It breaks my heart Eric, it surely does. 

And in death your eulogy read: “Eric was a very jovial, smart, and an outstanding character full of life. He succumbed to injuries at the hospital after he accidentally and fatally fell from a building when heading home after meeting his friends”. And then it ends by saying”you will surely be missed by your loving mum, sisters, brothers, fiancé, friends, colleagues and family at large…”I am still worried about the fiancé part, but I will rest my case.

And in all the good and the bad times that we had, I recall one incident, a date forever engraved in my heart 6^th March 2015. That night you walked me home in the middle of the night, when I had been shaken, disrespected and blackmailed, you came through for me, and ensured I was home safe. If I didn’t thank you enough then, I thank you now again. I will keep the memories alive and cherish them always. All the things we did, on and off record gives me fond memories. There will always be a special place in my heart for you. 

Anthony Dowson in his memoir he wrote and said…”speak of me as you have done always. Remember the good times, laughter and fun. Share the happy memories we’ve made. Do not let them wither or fade. I will be with you in the summer’s sun, and when the winter’s chill has come. I will be the voice that whispers in the breeze”. 

He continues to say, “I am peaceful now, put your mind at ease, I’ve rested my eyes and gone to sleep, but memories we’ve shared are yours to keep. Sometimes our final days maybe a test, but remember me when I was at my best. Although things may not be the same, don’t be afraid to use my name. Let your sorrow last for just awhile, comfort each other and try to smile, I have lived a life filled with joy and fun. Live on now, make me proud of what you will become”.

This is my dedication to you. Puff Daddy – I’ll be missing you, and Gregory Isaac – Sad to know you are leaving. Till we meet again Eric.

As I pen off, I want to let you know that your team Liverpool is doing very well this season. Liverpool qualified for the Champion’s League and doing pretty well in English Premier League. In the last premier league, your team thrashed my team (Arsenal) 4 nil and you guys just signed Ox Chamberlain from Arsenal. It’s a sure bet this season is Liverpool’s’ to loose.

And guess what, we had the long awaited presidential elections for 2017, and as usual Baba (Raila Odinga) was trying his luck one more time! I didn’t vote myself but I was sure as hell the elections were not free at all. You know what the best part is? The presidential results were annulled by the Supreme Court and we are going back for another elections in less than 60 days! I can tell for sure the election body is in trouble. We can only wait and see what will unfold. I will write to you again after the elections and keep you posted, but for now, sleep well my friend, adios.

                                                               

Forever in our hearts,

Xoxo

A Date with the Ordothontist

When I was growing up, I had never paid much attention to my looks like how I did when I turned 14 years. Teenage-hood had just set in, and puberty did not spare me.

I was never self-conscious until when I looked at the mirror and noticed the unusual-ness in my dentals. The school's co-curricular activities made it hard for me as I shied away from participating in most of them because of esteem issues. My parents did not see this as important and thus my efforts to have them pay for my orthodontic treatment fell into deaf ears. And on this day I decided my first job, my first salary I would use it for the treatment. 

Today marks exactly 2 years, 7 months and 20 days when I first had my braces on. I remember everything so vividly like it was yesterday. I must say the journey has been one full of anxiety, anticipation, high and low moments. Checkups after the other, appointments after the other I never gave up for a moment, but one day I almost did!

You see, for orthodontic treatment like most treatment, the first appointment will include an X-ray being taken.  Photos and impressions for plaster study models of your teeth are also done. Fixed braces like what I have consist of brackets and bands bonded or cemented to the teeth (to get a hold of them), and very thin metal wires that gently push the teeth into their right positions.

After my first visit, the sequential appointments involved cementing of the bands and brackets to the affected teeth or jaws, adjustments to the braces by way of wire-changers, adding springs, elastics and other accessories. These adjustments have been going on for the last more than two and a half years with my braces on.

I must say, braces are not for the faint-heart. It goes without saying that pain, tears, loud sobs, are always part of me in most of the adjustment appointments that I continue to have. Overtime, the teeth have developed sensitivity and hot or cold drinks are no longer fashionable. Crunchy, hard, bites are now things of the past. I hardly remember the last time I had a piece of meat for diner or lunch. Slices of breads have to be broken down into smaller pieces, my favorite Chapati only remains a memory I hold dearly. Don't even ask when I last chewed a piece of sugarcane because I don't recall!

It should be noted however, braces come with its own bag of goodies. Overall, there is general improved oral hygiene, bite issues get to be corrected, raised self-esteem and enhanced self-confidence, just to mention a few. You would realize that braces is becoming more and more popular among the adult than it was a few years back. More and more people are getting braces because either they are not happy with the way their teeth look when they smile and they just want to enhance their appearance. 

A walk-in to one of the government offices recently for an official errand, left me in a few stitches when an elderly lady who could not hide her awe decided to question why I had braces on. She looked friendly and jovial and I decided to tell her why I had them on, but she was not convinced and said that the youth of the Y generation are into braces because it is fashionable. Well, I had to leave her to her own imagination because she would never understand two things: one, that braces are very costly and can get really uncomfortable! But the truth remains these questions come to me in almost all the places I visit, whether in a shopping mall, at the social places, or even when using buses on my way to work. Sometimes I respond to them and most times I choose to I ignore or else i would have to make it a full time job!

And so during my most recent appointment, I asked my orthodontist how much longer are we keeping the braces and she said "you have six-eight more months to go", and yes you can imagine the frown on my face. Yes here we are, taking each day at a time, my life with braces, the tastier foods that I have foregone, those Ice-creams, the hot drinks, the crunchy snacks, I have to wait, the long wait continues. Never give up so they say, when this is all said and done, then, the means will truly justify the end!

 See you around on the other side! Remind me to take y'all for Nyama Choma, goat eating festival when the braces are finally out!

Yours always,

Lisa

Xoxo

So Long My Dear One, So Long..

Its Friday, 9^th June 2017, as the clock ticks away, I look up its exactly 11.33pm.

The count down begins. It is exactly 60 days to the Kenya’s General Elections and exactly 27 minutes before I turn 27 years! I am filled with mixed emotions, I am both sad and happy at the same time. Sad that am getting older (I mean we all want to remain sweet 16, right?). Happy that God has been so merciful that I have survived a quarter a century topped with 2 years, Allah is indeed great no? When I remember, just two months and a week ago, I lost a very close friend, a former colleague, he rested at just two weeks short of his birth day. He never lived to celebrate his 28^th birthday, so I have all the reasons to murmur a prayer of thanks giving to God.

And for a moment, memories of my life happenings for the past 26 years flood my mind. I go back in time to all the events that occurred. From the friendships, to heartbreaks, to achievements, to silly moments, to goodbyes, to good times, to bad times, to sorry moments, to lessons learnt, to future plans, and yes life always happened, because I always live large. But there was this particular moment, a star moment, when I met him, things were never going to be the same again, the obsession has never stopped ever since.

I am watching a movie on my laptop, I glance at the bottom right corner, it reads 11.55pm and we are 5 minutes shy of midnight. The intensity of the excitement mounts, this is truly happening. I can’t help it. Clearly my company is good, but it would have been great with him besides me. It feels empty without you, it’s like there is no me without you.

They say God speed is always on time, I agree. But where have you been all this while, I have never seen a soul like yours before. It’s been not so long ago, but you make me wonna be a better version of myself every day, you make me look at things in a totally different world view, I feel like I should sit by my laptop every night and write a love letter to you. I miss you a lot today, and a little more every day. If there is a place I wonna be in right now is by your side, always and forever.

The loneliness, the emptiness, the aloneness, the lonesomeness, the separateness, the solitude, the absence, the distance, the emotions, the feelings, the love, the affection, the attachment, the fondness form part of my every day wish. That chaque jour, I wish you were never so far from me, that you would not be so busy for me, that you would call often enough to check on me, that I don’t have to cry myself to sleep every night, that instead of wasting so much time with bureaucracies of love, we should just be straightforward, that you would at least take an emotional responsibility, that the emotional investment will not be in vain, that you will always love me and not make feel jealous in front of other women. 

My love, the list is endless but as you see, I am just a woman in love, with so many anxieties, uncertainties, and some of these things will not make sense to you, but like you asked me I will hang in there. Looking forward to happy days, but I swear some days you do make me feel desperate for your love, is it too much that I ask from you? That you are not sure about me, about us? Do you need some space and time? Please tell me, I need some answers. It’s true, am awfully afraid of losing you, but I don’t wonna lie to myself

Yours truly, 

One and only,