Based on True story.
Disclaimer:
Dear friends, I write this to you with a heavy heart, as a
very distressed lady, and an overwhelmed daughter of this land. I feel my ego
has been crushed and my self-esteem has been lowered to the grave. Who will
restore my pride as a woman? I feel let down by people I choose to trust, I
feel betrayed and abandoned. This is agony that has really tortured my mind, my
emotional stability has been put on trial, who will stabilize it? What is the
value of a woman in the society? Anyway, does it have to be a woman typing
this? Why not a man? It would be newsworthy don’t you think so?! I pause and
wonder when will this ever change, because even the most civilized of them all
still fall prey? This is my heartbreaking story.
Saturday, 7th March 2015, 6.00pm.
It was the evening on the eve of the International Women’s
Day. That day like every other, my shift ended at six pm. Being a diehard
soccer fan read ‘Arsenal’, I should have left the office earlier to go catch
the beautiful game; but since this was the FA weekend and Arsenal was playing
on Monday against Manchester United, I decided this was a ‘no outing weekend’
and I was to go home.
Saturday, 7th March 2015 8.30pm.
Fast forward to two hours thereafter. As I left the office
with one of my colleague, I receive a call from this man one of my seniors at
work (duh, you all know him!). He was in a meeting somewhere nearby so he
alleged. He asked if we had already left the office, and the answer was
negative. He offered to give us a ride in his motorcade since it appeared that
the three of us were headed in the same direction.
This was the second time I would have a ride with him in his
car. He had parked his car in one of the ‘Bonjour’ gas station. I reside in
Tassia, Embakasi and yes you can guess the route we were using. My colleague
was the first to alight at Kobil filling station and I was supposedly to alight
at Taj mall, Embakasi or Uchumi if you like. That indeed happened for only a
couple of minutes let’s say approximately 20 minutes before I was back inside
his car. Not going home but rather we were headed to his place! The devil is
certainly in the details.
Flashback to around 5pm that evening. Back In the office: a
generous friend to one of my supervisors presented to us a few packets of
Delmonte juice. I was supposed to drop a packet to my supervisor on my way home.
I was to meet my supervisor at Taj mall. He was not there on time. Since he
stays at a stone throw’ I opted to take the package to his place.
I should have mentioned this. Enroute to Uchumi, in his car:
I was alone with him. He asked about my plans for the weekend and I reiterated
that I was going home since there is no football game that was of interest.
Then he dropped a bomb shell! He asked me to go with him to his place. The
truth is I didn’t see that coming. I would be honest and say this was his
second attempt in trying to invite me over to his crib. What to do? I don’t
know but, we will find out since I actually agreed to go to his place!
Remember this was around nine pm (9.30pm). How I agreed to
this, I am not sure, but I must have been high on some hard stuff or either
Juju was fiercely and mercilessly working on me.
Backtrack to my supervisor’s place. I was very uneasy with
the whole idea of going to my senior’s place. I felt like I needed to confide
this to someone just in case. And so I did just that. I told him that I had
left my bag in his car, initially I had really wanted to carry it along but he
had convinced me otherwise. I asked my supervisor to walk with me to his car so
that I could collect my bag. This did not go well with my senior ‘man’. He instead
changed his wordings and asked my supervisor and I to hop in so that he could
drop us both to our destination. He even asked to confirm where I stay, and
I answered back. And I thought what a gentleman he was?!
Dear ladies, even as I pause to reflect on that night, what
I cannot seem to forget is how susceptible this #teamMafisi think we are. One thing
that many don’t know is a lot of people call me shy, innocent, humble, polite
and introvert. Some say I am stubborn at the same time. The truth is nobody
really knows me as half as much as I know myself. An amazing fact is that we
can’t control how people view or critic us but well a reputation is something
else all together! And my reputation I work so hard to build it and therefore I
will jealously guard it with my life! I know at the end of my narration some
will judge me on this, well we all know that this society has always judged
harshly the woman character and therefore I don’t expect much even from the
learned alias. But I firmly assert that, I am a young adult, and I take full responsibility
for all my actions, this one is not an exception.
Saturday, 7th March 2015, 10.00pm.
The ride through the rough rugged terrain of Eastland was a
nightmare that was later to confirm my worst fears. I didn’t know that I was to
go through the same route on my own at 12.30am that night or was it morning? I
am not sure.
My senior ‘man’ apparently, habits’ on the fourth floor of
that block of a building. The house was silent when we entered. It was just the
two of us and everything in it could confirm that there was no sign of a female
being in that house. And for a moment everything seemed so masculine! Despite
the fact that the house was lacking vitamin ‘F’ to stand for female, it looked
pretty organized, fresh and chic.
We had been talking about everything and about nothing at
the same time. Then it all happened like a flash of a lightning! He roughly
pulled me towards himself and forcefully planted his lips onto mine. Yes this
was a deliberate move by him that is why I reassert that it was forcefully
done. There was no business of willing buyer willing seller cliché here. It is
only as I was sleeping on my bed that night with this panicking pain, that I
realized I had been hurt on my braces. It hurt so much I couldn’t tell.
I had only one question for him, “what do you want from me?”
and all he could think of is “I want you!” I was a little startled by his
courage and confidence. How do you even rough up a woman engage her
unwillingly, and then confess to her that you want her? Who does that? What a
turn off?I mumbled. At least he could have tried the ‘sweet nothings’ maybe it would have served
the trick!?
That evening there, it was around 10.40pm. There was a Seria
A game, between AC Milan and some other team I can’t remember very well. After that short, taunting, shameful,
shocking incident I was left in awe. I was not listening to him anymore. One
thing only rung in my mind. I composed myself. I couldn’t even face him. I
said, “I want to go home”. And that was to become my boring song for the next
two hours that passed by. I called boring because at least that is the look he
gave me.
A man of his caliber does not stoop so low and practice this
anti-social behavior. A man of his type, holding a well respected position in
the society does not take advantage of women. A male being of his kind does not
pledge allegiance to ignorance and do what he did to me. A human being of
chromosome y, with the kind of exposure he has in life should behave better. At
least with his age, he should know better how to treat and handle a woman, the
X chromosome. Well that is the least I expected from him. This was a total
disservice to the male gender, misrepresentation of the highest order! But
besides that, I feel let down as a woman when I thought these are the people we
could look up to bring sanity in this world full of chauvinists. I am a bitter
damsel. And my bitterness goes deep down onto the lower layer of my skin. I
felt emotionally, physically, and psychologically disrespected and traumatized.
I am not a feminist, but that fateful night, he made me, want to become the
greatest feminist of all times!
Thinking aloud, after all these, he still could not let me
go home in tranquility. He still wanted me to spend the night in his house? And
I wonder when did the rain start to beat? What happened to morals? Is the
society now falling a victim of moral decay and erosion? Somebody help me
collect my jaw from the floor, and you see I have to pinch myself to
resuscitate to reality.
Sunday 8th, March 2015 12.20am.
I made up my mind that I was leaving this prison of a house.
I had enough cash with me so I really didn’t need his ride back home anyway. I
tiptoed to the door as he was still undergoing verbal diarrhea. He accused me
of being stingy and hurtles. He actually said I was very disrespectful and that
no matter what I do he would never forget this. Who cares? He actually
confessed that he knew I was stubborn but he didn’t know that I would go this
far. Hello! Wake up and smell the coffee. Do not underestimate the power of a woman.
You do not cross my feminine boundary then just walk away with it. I am a woman
of my own caliber; I deserve respect from all and a sundry, he is not an
exception. One of our learned sons of the soil said, “do not rattle a snake, if
you do it will bite”.
Just before I left through the door, he asked me why I don’t
trust myself. That it would be an achievement to spend a night in a man’s house
and that nothing would happen. SMH. I walked past him towards the door, he couldn’t
believe that he actually was losing this. He noted that the watchman downstairs
would not open the gate for me since it was late in the night. Why was he
sounding so desperate of a man? Of course the gateman wouldn’t dare stop me.
Going down further the stairs I heard his diminishing voice calling my name. I
would have been the silliest person to even turn my head and look back. Even if
the house was on fire. I was matching forward. Reclaiming my freedom.
I called my supervisor. Briefly explained what transpired
and he was such a gentleman. He accepted to accompany me home. The moment I
stepped out of his house I knew I had won my fight. He will never disrespect me
again. Not another lady in the office and not any other woman within my
vicinity.
I was home safe and sound, thanks to my endeared supervisor.
Would you imagine he even dared to call long after am gone? The call goes
unanswered the he texts, “lemmi kno you home and safe”. What the F***?! Wasn't he remorseful already?
Sunday 8th March 2015 at around 7.00pm.
This is the International Women’s Day. It is the same day
when we have the Beyond Zero Marathon. He calls me in the evening. Still this
is not answered. Then religiously he follows it with a text. He states: “Just
wanted to kno something I heard today about you and Andrew the cleaner”. Well I
can’t believe that he even got guts to do this. He now wants to play the victim
here. He is trying to play mind games with me. At this point I know for sure
somebody is getting worried. He better be. Because this does not end here. I
could easily sue for sexual harassment. The law protects the female gender from
sexual harassment of any kind. The organization culture forbids office romance
and I am not going to bend the rules with this chap. He has to apologize, that is the least he can do.
Moments of silence for any ladies who have been through any
form of harassment from this Chapman. Any lady who has been suffering in
silence. Let’s stand up and fight for our rights. Our kindness should not be
taken for granted.
I have this to say to him: I am too experienced to be taken
for a ride; I am too experienced to be taken for rock and roll!
Signed, Sealed and Stamped.
Lisa Biwott.
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